As the latest version of Disney’s Snow White opens worldwide, the notion of looking in a mirror for approval is back again.
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Great question, but who gives the approval vote and against what measures?
Actually, the mirror is impartial in what is reflected.
The meaning we attach to what we see, is influenced by what we think and feel about ourselves. We see what we believe in.
The truth, suggests prominent neuroscientist Susan Greenfield, is that we don’t truly see with our eyes, but with our inner voice.
So, if we are choosing who and what we see, then we are also identifying and understanding (from our inner voice perspective) what we believe in.
Our first thoughts on this were provoked recently, when a respected television client of ours, proudly told us that he’d been to see his first ballet.
“It’s interesting how much time they spend taking applause”, he reported “they bow at least six times after every dance’’
The bowing and applause both during and at the end of the performance can be confusing and even distracting if you’re not used to it.
In truth, it is an inherent part of the tradition and heritage – a built-in signal and opportunity for the audience to acknowledge and show their approval for the dancers, plus an opportunity for the dancers to acknowledge and return their approval to the audience.
Approval, whether sought, given or received, is an important measure of how beneficial, useful or worthwhile the experience has been to those involved in it.
In his world of television, the use of ‘warm-up’ artists ahead of a live recording, better position the audience to give a ‘warmer’ reception and indeed approval to the performance… and if the approval needs further amplification, then someone might swiftly bring on an ‘applause’ board.
But are we authentic when we seek, receive and give approval and if the art of approval is under question in terms of its authenticity, how might we better manage the process?
In a world where ‘what good looks like’ is increasingly complex and its ‘value’ keeps being redefined, how can we show genuine approval for what we enjoy or believe in and, in return, identify when we’ve done something that is genuinely useful or beneficial in some way?
In the wake of recent worldwide political and financial confusion, ex-president Obama’s wise words last week, suggested a timely answer for all of us.
He stated that it certainly doesn’t begin with the hedonistic world leaders, or the inflated opinion formers, who firstly reward themselves huge helpings of positive self-approval, before further instructing us on what we should and shouldn’t believe.
He calmly suggested that it begins, with each of us ‘looking in our own mirror’.
If we have clarity on who we are – our values, our principles, in what we believe and what we stand for – then, when we look at ourselves, we see all of these clearly reflected and will authentically demonstrate them through our actions, behaviours, choices and decisions.
By the same token, we can reveal our true selves when we show our approval of others, applauding what we enjoy and acknowledge as positive experiences – I like this, or I love that. And of course, we can demonstrate our disapproval in the same way - I don’t like this, or I disagree with that.
In the Arts, the bows, applause and sometimes standing ovations at the end of a performance may, for some, feel a little too long. But what they represent, is authentic approval of the contribution and unique value that both the performer and the audience make to that shared experience, that moment.
If we as individuals, or indeed as organisations, are connected to who we are, what we do and why we do it, we are able to show our approval (and disapproval) simply and authentically.
* It allows us to pursue the best version of ourselves.
* It helps us to make choices and decisions with integrity and to instil trust.
* It enables us to stand up for what we value and believe in and call out or stand against what we don’t.
* It allows us to be brave and vulnerable and to take risks and the sometimes-tough decisions.
An individual or an organisation that can balance this art of approval in an authentic way, will be at their best.
With an increasing appetite to praise and please, the art of authentic approval is under pressure. Looking in the mirror might be part of the answer.
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